HOW the hell did we get into this mess?
It’s a simple question we can thank dysfunctional singleton Carrie Bradshaw for asking, but it’s actually one worth thinking about.
Sex and the City may seem like a mind-numbing, meaningless television show, but one man believes it to be the best therapy and thinks we could solve our own problems by answering Carrie’s sometimes senseless questions.
Brian Lobel is kind of like a therapist — but a bit of an abnormal one.
He’ll come into your home, fix you a cosmopolitan, listen to you regurgitate your troubles and recommend an episode of Sex and the City that will completely “change your life”.
He’ll even cuddle up on the couch with you to help explain the profound messages behind Carrie’s often neurotic behaviour — at least when it comes to Mr Big.
“Carrie was searching for answers in a way which was so incredibly clear and literal and obvious,” Mr Lobel told news.com.au.
“The power of the show is in the asking of questions. It binds me to her and the show. While I don’t think that the show itself contains the answers to every question, the right episode can provide models of stories which help us answer our questions ourselves.”
Mr Lobel has recommended nearly every Sex and the City episode to people in search of help and Drama Queens is one instalment he prescribes to his “patients”.
Miranda and Steve get to a pretty comfortable stage in their relationship and then she finds a nasty stain on his undies while doing the wash.
Charlotte is again on the quest to find the one and ends up getting hit on by her friend’s husband and Carrie falls back into the dark abyss that is Mr Big, right when she gets comfortable with Aidan.
“Many people report having problems with the fact that their relationship is fine and steady but miss the fire,” Mr Lobel said.
He too has recommended episodes for people searching to find “the one”.
He suggests watching the part of the series where Carrie and Aidan break up for good and then the episode where Miranda and Steve get back together at their son’s birthday party.
You may be thinking sure, Sex and the City can solve my mediocre relationship drama, but what about serious problems like health, disease, assault, rape and death?
“They do come up in my diagnoses, people often share quite deeply, and it’s a fun and profound challenge to find them an episode which addresses these serious issues in a way which honours them,” Mr Lobel said.
“Generally people feel very good and will often feel quite close to me although, in reality, we have mostly sat silently and watched TV. Very often people tell me they do not want to go back to the ‘real world’.”
Despite Mr Lobel giving people this type of counselling, he’s not actually a psychologist or therapist himself, instead he is a senior lecturer in theatre and decided to help people when he realised Sex and the City had all the answers for him.
“It has the answers for me, much of the time. And never when I’m searching for it,” Mr Lobel said.
“But you know that when an episode about teabagging makes you weep cathartic tears, that the show is onto something.”
He has even started to actually prescribe people with Sex and the City episodes on stage in a new show, You Have to Forgive Me, You Have to Forgive Me, You Have to Forgive Me, which was named after an episode in season 4 where Carrie makes a desperate plea to Aidan to forgive her after she cheated.
On his website, Mr Lobel said Carrie was there for him during major moments of his life and was an important part of his coming of age.
“She was with me through losing my virginity, my cancer, 9/11, coming out and so much more,” he said.
“In the 10 years since the show went off air, I regularly wonder where Carrie is, what she’s doing, and what she’d think about my, or my friends’, crazy sex and romantic life.
“Whether or not Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda were important parts of your sex/romantic life, I hope we’ll find a way for it to be relevant to you.”
Before Mr Lobel can sit down and discuss issues like relationship karma, monogamy and Samantha Jones’ sex life, you have to fill out a survey with answers to many of Carrie’s pondering questions.
People are asked whether monogamy has become too much to expect, what are the breakup rules and can you change a man?
He then analyses that questionnaire and uses it to help him pluck out an episode that will speak to you.
Just recently Mr Lobel travelled to Sydney to perform You Have to Forgive Me, You Have to Forgive Me, You Have to Forgive Me and visit people’s homes.